I've Been Quiet Long Enough-The US Government Rewards Bad Behavior and Punishes Those Who Try Do the Right Thing

The stimulus package approved by the government includes assistance for people who are losing, or are in danger of losing their home. President Obama said that we are in danger of losing the American dream and that is why he earmarked money for this purpose.

Once I heard that I realized that it's important that I tell my personal story in order to show how wrong this plan is. I know my story is certainly not unique, but it is mine.

I was working as a project manager for Bank One for four years. Our President, Jamie Dimon, decided that he would merge our bank with JP Morgan Chase. Even though it ruined the lives of several thousand employees, his income and future with the merger was completely set, (as he was promised the presidency of the combined bank (now called Chase), when the current president retired in two years). So, because of the duplicate positions that would be created once a company is merged, positions for Bank One needed to be eliminated. Since I had the lowest seniority, I lost my job in November of 2003 and my severance ended on Christmas day of that year. (Thank you Jamie Dimon).

I tried to get a job with Bank One after being laid off but because of the merger, most open positions were placed on hold. So I made the decision to go back to school for nursing. This may have seemed like a simple decision, but I had a mortgage and car payments, and everything else to consider. I reluctantly signed up for unemployment (my family said I paid into it since I was 16 and that's what it was there for), cashed in my retirement, and traded my truck in for a cheaper car. My unemployment check was half of my income, but it covered the bills as long as I didn't spend any extra money. I ended up taking a job at a hospital as a patient care tech (nurse's aid) for $8.00 an hour; thus giving up my unemployment. I was making $45,000 a year with Bank One which works out to $3500 a month after taxes. With my new job I was making about $1150 a month. My severance paid me about $1700 a month. So this is the first of the "punishments" I get for doing the right thing and getting a job.

I made the decision to sell my house and my parents graciously said I could move back home until I could get on my feet. This was right at the beginning of the housing slump and my house would simply not sell. So now I was faced with the need to come up with money to save my home. Now you must understand, for me it wasn't a matter of "saving the American dream", for me it was a matter of fulfilling the promise I made by signing my mortgage papers to continue paying my mortgage. It was about responsibility. So, I began taking out student loans and cash advances from my credit cards to cover my mortgage. I put my house on the market again. But again, no one would buy it.

I went through four years of school and worked and didn't spend money and now I have between student loans, mortgage, and credit cards, about $250,000 of debt. I'm a nurse and make pretty good money, but I live paycheck to paycheck. My priority for that paycheck is my mortgage and come hell or high water, I pay my mortgage; I've only been late twice and paid the fees for it. And my credit rating is over 700. So I may have an ugly number in my checking account, but my credit rating is good.

So, what happens with someone like me when it comes to the stimulus money earmarked for people with mortgage issues? Well, for me to benefit, I would have to be heading to foreclosure. So, you might be saying..."Do it! You'll benefit". I can't do that. Because the American dream that President Obama speaks about isn't about sticks and drywall...it's about pride. It's about being responsible. It's about keeping promises. Sure if I did default, or put myself closer to foreclosure I'd benefit financially, but what would I sacrifice in the process. I can tell you...I'd sacrifice not only my pride, but my beliefs, and I'd be spitting on those who raised me to be responsible and pay my debts.

The big buzz word right now is "predatory lending". And I understand that there may have been some of that going on with the elderly, but for people like me, I think it's an exaggeration. I was raised to read what I signed. I signed an ARM but I read what I signed and for me it helped me stay in my home. Plus my ARM locks at 8 percent. I knew how it would work because I read it and I asked questions. See, unlike what government officials just did, I read what I was signing. There are crooks out there and when I was looking to refinance while going through school I met a few. One mortgage broker offered to put $3,000 into my checking so he could get the mortgage to go through and then I'd simply give him a check after it closed. Even though it was a great deal for me and would've solved a lot of problems, I walked away. Because it would have simply been wrong. But I was fully aware of what they were trying to do. I educated myself on what I was signing. No one made me sign anything. So to me "predatory lending" simply is a buzz word used to excuse irresponsible behavior.

So the stimulus package went through and thousands of irresponsible people are about to benefit while those who tried to do the right thing are passed over. To me President Obama, this is the loss of the "American Dream".

I'm not writing this to pat myself on the back, or provide some bitter rant. Everything worked out well for me and in the end, I wouldn't change the decisions I made because they got me where I am today and I love being an ER nurse. I have a lot of debt that I'm working to pay down and I will continue to do so. I simply wanted to share my experience with all of you because in situations like this it's easy to feel like you're the only one going through it. I know the temptation is there to choose to do the wrong thing simply because it's easy. But, chins up America, we can get through this and it's not going to be by doing the wrong thing; but for standing up for what is right! Get vocal America!!!